Resolution Confusion

I am not quite the believer in New Year's resolutions. I see the point of it but I don't see the value in it.

I will be fit and healthy this year.

I will be more kind to my neighbors this year.

I will eat, drink, travel more this year.

I will be more creative this year.

These are common resolutions that people make every New Year and they confuse me. Aren’t these supposed to be the norm instead of being things that we need to remind ourselves to do? To me valid resolutions should look like these:

I will eat more junk, fatty, and salty goodies because I am too healthy this year.

I will be an asshole to my neighbors this year because I’ve been too kind and they‘ve abused it greatly.

I will eat and drink less this year because there’s not a lot of good places to do it this year. I’ve tried them all.

I will be less creative this year because I’ve used all the Instagram filters for all the 365 selfies I posted last year.

Happy New Year!