Growing Old is About Looking Back
A decade ago, my group released a double album about our school lives and to this date we all agree that it’s the finest product we’ve ever produced in terms of songwriting, production, and recording. It was the only project that all of us actively participated in from beginning to end. That is why I am looking back at this moment in my life with a great sense of pride and joy. And that is these reason why I am writing about it. I am not revisiting it because I think it’s an important album for other people or the world. No, the album gets an average of 20 plays a month on all streaming services combined so I am not being delusional here. I know where I am at. I am fully aware that nobody gives a shit and that is perfectly fine. The important thing is that I, being one of the creators, gives a whole lot of shit. Why? Because I had so much fun making it. After all, Isn’t that the reason why we do things?
But I still cannot believe that it’s been a decade. I am looking back at the project that we made in the late 10s that also looked back at our school days back in the late 90s. Fuck! I think that’s what really happens when people grow old. Growing old is truly about looking back.
Anyway, since I have my blog once again, I think it’s the perfect time to store all my memories related to that project. Mind you, I am not a very good archivist. Backing up files and data isn’t a usual part of my musical workflow since I have this weird belief back then that backing up data with hard drives is an endless, useless, and expensive endeavor. Backing up a hard drive with another hard drive and backing up the back up with another back up. Come on!
What was I thinking? Back then I was arrogant and thought that if I had to use a hard drive to remember my songs, then my songs aren’t very good. How stupid!
Luckily, after a round of tidying up, A.K.A “Marie Kondo-ing,” I found an ancient CD storage case and there I saw back up data discs. As far as I can recall, I did not burn these discs. Maybe these came from my bandmates since they know that one day I will be looking back and will need something to look back to. So, with this, I am extremely grateful.
Here’s my plan.I will rip these data discs and start uploading them on the blog or “the cloud” for posterity and then throw these discs away to make Marie Kondo proud. I haven’t looked at anything yet. I need to get a disc drive first.
I am excited. What will I find in these discs? Old photos perhaps? Word docs full of lyrics? Maybe some demos or recordings of rehearsals? If anything, I know that whatever is in there will create sparks of joy. And the more sparks I find, the more evidence I get to prove that despite the many problems that life may bring, there are moments to make it worth living. I may have a toothache today, but one glance at that photo on my phone that she and I took on top of the Château du Haut-Kœnigsbourg in the Alsace region of France makes me forget my dental troubles.
Seriously though, I really believe that memories make a life. Without them, we’re just mammals walking around with no direction to go to nor fond things to look back on. Likewise, what is there to look forward to if your future experiences do not become cherished memories?